Dear Z,
Hope all is well with you! Have not heard from you in awhile. My situation has become more complicated, if that is possible. I may try writin about it and leavin the notes here as a form of therapy. If I leave a note here not addressed to you, can you please leave it after you read it? The purpose of my request will become apparent.
J
While Jett’s situation becomes worse Zazie disappears…
Dear Z,
I am sittin’ here readin’ your note and I almost spit out my dark roast coffee, black. He asked you what!? Seriously!? Wow, sounds like either he does not trust you or he is worried about a serious credit problem; or both. Either way, run away and never return! Where do you find these guys!? I know what you need; you need a cowboy, a real cowboy, to ride along and sweep you off your feet and put you out of your datin’ misery. We would sure miss your humourous/revealing posts though, so in the meantime keep us posted on the antics of these guys you meet.
Have you ever met a real cowboy? Not a wanna be or the urban kind or the weekend kind, but a real, born on a ranch, grew up surrounded by big skies and ropes and saddles and cattle and horses, cowboy. Well, they are men of honour and they know how to treat a woman. They still believe in chivalry and manners. They still believe in doin’ what is right because it is right. They still believe in romance and watchin’ the sun rise and set. They believe the greatest gift they can give are their words in a poem or song. I am proud to say that I am a born and bred third generation cowboy.
As for your idea of credit checks and background checks, sadly, I guess you are right. But here is my rule of thumb for all you cowboys and cowgirls: You should reveal any issues in your past to the one you are with before you ever get to the point where you use the “L” word. Before your ever tell someone you love them, you had better reveal anything bad that you did or that was done to you. Tell ’em straight up. Survivin’ somethin’ bad shapes your character and becomes part of you. Tell the truth and give the other person a chance to know the real you. If love is meant to be, they will love that part of you as well. I have two revealing experiences with two different stunning women to tell, but later.
Rhett
Jett comes back in the picture….
Welcome Back Rhett,
I was so excited today when I stopped by for tea and found your note under the napkin holder. I had thought something had happened to you. You are going to have to catch me up on what happened to your brother Jett.
While you were gone I had some interesting things happen on my quest for love. Just the other day a thought occurred to me and I was hoping to get your input.
I was on a date with a guy that I had been out with a couple of times and out of the blue he asked me if “I had checked his credit?” I was taken back by the question as I don’t know why he asked or what he was thinking. I guess because my current position I do pull people’s credit often but it had never occurred to me to pull my dates credit. First off it would be illegal to do so without the persons consent, however, after thinking about it what a great idea for couples. What about a full profile review?
In today’s world it is not uncommon to have your credit pulled for a job. Why not consider this if you are moving in together or getting married? Not so much a consideration when you are just dating but if you are deciding to blend your lives together think of all the heartache you could save. The first thing it would tell you is who should or should not handle the bills. Who is responsible and who is hiding something. Because I do pull credit often for couples you would not believe the family secrets that come out as the report is reviewed. I have had more than one spouse sit across from me thinking they were in great standings only to find that the other spouse had obtained credit cards they knew nothing about. Sometime these balances are in the tens of thousands of dollars once you add them all up.
Could you imagine how it would feel to find out you are in incredible debt at the hands of your spouse? I remember I got married and found out after about a DWI he had years before we met. How did I find out? We got married and my car insurance went up extra high. I had to pay higher premiums until it dropped off him. He felt I didn’t need to know as it had been in his past and not an issue in our life.
Thinking into it more I thought that this may not be such an uncommon occurrence in a matter of someone of royalty getting married. I feel sure if Prince William was well aware of Princess Catherine’s current and past financial status well before the proposal took place. I think I am going to treat myself more like a Princess.
Are we so caught up in the lust/love thing that asking this could shatter our dreams so we just don’t? Maybe couples do this already. Is it possible that an employer requires and knows more about an individual that we even attempt to know? Could there be something like a relationship resume? Why not? This would be my list?
Did I forget one? If you are sitting at this table and have found this note just leave your reply in the comments area? Do you have a scenario you could share on this topic?
Hey there Zazie,
First let me apologize deeply for my absence. I have been preoccupied tryin’ to help Jett out of another jam. I think his lastest challenge will actually turn out to be a blessing, but more on that later.
I think dating sites are to be avoided. I am sure there are some success stories out there, yet I think they are the exception. It is just too easy to create a profile of the person you think you are or the person you want to be instead of the person you really are. Your experience seems to validate my previous sentence.
Now, I should qualify my comments by sayin’ I have never used a dating site. However, I did try one of those services where you become a member and they interview you in person and then they match you up with another member they think you will be compatible with and then you meet that person for lunch or coffee. I met a great woman through that service. She was beautiful, dark haired and Spanish. Her family owned a successful restaurant. We drank tequila and smoked cigars and had some wonderful times. It was true love for her, but not for me and so, we parted.
I think the best way to find love is through networking. Work on expandin’ your network of friends. Join a church, or one or two civic organizations. Target organizations that are more likely to attract the type of person you want to meet. I am currently fascinated by a beautiful blonde I met at a civic organization meeting. The wider and more interesting one’s network of friends becomes, the wider and more interesting people one will meet. And some of those people will be available.
Of course, that is just my opinion, who knows, I could be wrong.
Still, Rhett
Zazie has an idea about dating she shares….
My Dearest Rhett,
I have not heard from you in days. Have you stopped dropping by the cafe? I do so miss your thoughts and your male views on things. You and I had been talking on the issues of Love. I was hoping to explore it a little more as I have yet to find it myself. I have discussed in past letters of how disappointed I was that the man I cared for cheated on me and hurt me badly. I personally think now he has done me a favor. I deserve a man that is strong enough to say NO to the advances of a lesser woman. To offer me 100% of what I am willing to offer him. I recently decided that the best revenge would be to find this person and achieve success in Love. I signed up for a dating site!
Rhett, I have to tell you. It is terrible. I sign on with hope in my heart and sign off frustrated and puzzled. I don’t what to clump all guys in the same bucket but let me say a majority of them on these sites need serious help. First, I want to say the only reason I signed up in the first place is because three of my friends met their current husbands on a dating site and they are all still happily married. I was excited as I thought it would be easy. Let me tell you what it is truly like for me.
First I sign in and check my in box. There are always several that have made an attempt to connect with me. Some have pictures and some do not. I don’t even waste my time reading a thing if you do not have a picture. I am not necessarily going on looks at this point but the pictures people decide to post say everything I need or don’t need to know. If I could reach out to these poor guys and tell them what I see I would make rules for posting pictures on dating sites. They would read:
Rhett, I am sitting here in the cafe looking over profile after profile and I am so disappointed in my choices. By the time I come across a profile I could be interested in my stomach has already turned and I wonder what could this guy be hiding. I hope that one day I will find love again but I have to admit this dating site stuff is crazy.
I wanted to ask you or anyone else sitting at the table today these questions. Have you ever tried a dating site? Did you have success? Tell me about your experience?
Disappointed,
Rhett returns and leaves Zazie a message
Dear Zazie,
When it comes to readin’ Shakespeare, all one needs is an annotated text, to help with the old English words that are no longer in common use, and an open heart. And regardin’ poetry interpretation, you are correct, there is no right or wrong interpretation. Each reader brings a unique viewpoint to each poem. For me, Shakespeare’s Sonnet 91 says that he values her love above all else and if she chooses to ignore him, he will be wretched.
Before you go and assign me to a level of intelligence that is higher than I can attain, know this; it is merely that I am well read and that I am curious. I have been a collector and reader of books since I was a child. You should also know this; one of my greatest joys is readin’ and writin’ about love. And I will leave no stone not turned in my search for inspiration. So, I may quote from Shakespeare, or the Williams boys, Hank and Tennessee, or even Van Halen. Beauty and truth and love can be found anywhere!
Rhett
PS – There is only one Bible translation as far as I am concerned; KJV or nothin’. Yes, I have read it cover to cover.
To anyone that sits at this table on Mother’s Day,
I am usually a very happy person and attempt to look at the brighter side of things. I want to offer a bit of my feelings in hopes that it may bring light to another. Today is a wonderful day for many Mother’s out there as they received flowers, gifts and a visit from their children. This is a great time to share your memories and laugh about the hard times and at the end of the day Mother’s will feel joy for what this day has been.
Have you ever considered a person who has no children? What about someone who has lost a child? Maybe even a child who has lost their Mother? While on one hand we like to think of this day as a celebration at the same time it can be a day of great pain for someone else. I personally feel much pain on Mother’s Day. It is a great time for me to spend with my Mother who is alive and make it her own special day and at the same time I feel great pain as I will never feel that love for my own child.
You see I had a very bad miscarriage many years ago and it caused so much damage I will not be able to have one of my own. Sometimes I share this story with people and they often reply “There is always adoption.” Please if you are reading this don’t use this as a reply ever. As much as you think it is a nice thing to say it can also be an insult. Consider this. I was the first person to realize my options as I am the one with the problem. The fact that it is a standard comment I am reminded of my options often. Their is still something mystical and wonderful about carrying ones on child inside her. Going through labor and seeing a child for the first time and seeing a feature that is your own. When people say that I can adopt it is like they are blowing off my feelings.
I feel sure that there are many people in this world that are adopted share a great and deep love with their adoptive parent. I don’t believe there are any surprise adoptions. Usually someone has made an effort to do so. I would never want to make it like one is deeper or better. I am more referring to the fact that any woman that has gone through not being able to have a child has gone through it at some point. Some deal with it better than others and we just should never assume there is no pain.
I would think if someone were to express that it is difficult a better reply would be “I’m sorry” and give them a hug. The same with a person who has lost a child or lost a parent. While today you may have reached out to your own parent and expressed love or had your children do the same for you. Why not make the day a little more special by considering those around us who are not having the chance to express the same love. Call them and ask them how they are? Get them their own card and sign it from their pet. (many people substitute pets for what they can’t have) Let them know that yes they have a special place on this earth also.
Do you have any suggestions to something special someone could do to make Mother’s Day special for everyone? Does Mother’s Day make you sad sometimes too? Can you share your story?
Zazie
Rhett fails to return but Zazie still looks for love.
My Knight Rhett,
If you are claiming that would be you then I feel sure I did not over look you at our party! I could only wish a guy would be able to read into a situation such as that. Most men would claim that it looked like I was with that smelly breath guy.
From our letters you are convincing me that you are quite unique and very much in tune to a woman’s inner feelings. I think a girl would be lucky to find a Knight such as yourself.
You have left me in suspense long enough on your one true love. Will you not share what happened with her? Why do you talk about her as if she is in the past. Did you ever marry? I loved the fact that you loved her so but only feel confused that it did not last?
I believe I understand true love myself as I have loved and will always love some that have been in my life. This would go for friends, family and relationships. I believe that you can love someone so much that sometimes you just can’t be with them. I feel and felt that way very much for my Ex-husband. I will always love the man I married and the person that he was. I speak of him in a past tense because of the reality of where he currently is. From the surface down to my very core I wish him the best and that he will find himself again. You see Rhett I lost him to his addiction to drugs. He was not ever a bad person but a victim of losing himself. The drugs caused him to do bad things, to say hurtful things and to make bad choices. I feel sure had he not become an addict we would still be together. Today only a hollow shell of himself moves around trying to figure out how to fix what has been undone not realizing the cause is in his pocket. If you or anyone else has ever lost a love one in this manner they would understand. As you can figure I never stopped loving him I just can’t be with him. That is one example of true love that can be difficult to understand. I have a few others I will share at another time.
I want to ask you or anyone that stops over and reads this note if they have an example of true love that has parted?
Sigh and pout,
Zazie
My dearest Rhett,
Did you know that most people read on an 8th grade level? In my opinion most men stop once they get to that level if they make it. They get set in their ways and that is where the saying “You get what you see” from. I don’t want to share my age but I can assure you I have seen my share of get what you see and I don’t like it.
It would be nice if they all had tight fit bodies and the intelligence level of a professor but I am sorry to say most men that are “over the hill” have quit trying. I think this may be part of why most people handle relationships on that same level. I would think that someone who thinks on a higher lever would get frustrated at trying to get their point across to someone that has trouble understanding at the level. You are coming across as a very intelligent man and not so much the normal guy I usually have to communicate with. I am only a mere mistreated princess.
I know that trying to communicate with someone on a much higher level is frustrating when your heart wants to hang in right there with them. The reason I bring this up is here you go quoting Shakespeare! If you are going to keep this up you are going to have to sometimes tell me your interpretation of it. Just like a song it can have multiple meanings and at the same time none of them be wrong. The Bible has been translated for years and it is amazing how many people believe that their way is the only way. I am a person that tries to be open minded enough to at least look at another view of any given situation. I believe that is a key to living and not getting stuck in a rut. I think I want to call this part –
What Will is saying to me is: (Let’s break this down):
Some people are into who they are, some what they do, how much they make, how strong they are, what they wear, or the hottest item on the market. Some find pleasure in materialistic things and what they drive. (Horse in that time period) Everyone has their thing that gives them joy and some believe that only theirs is the best. Not William! He doesn’t care about that stuff he has something much better. Love above all will humble you, is worth more than money, clothes and their cost. Love is better than any materialistic thing and if you have someone to love or that loves you. You should tell the world! Poor Will even though he knows this he has no one to share his love with!
Rhett is there more that I am not understanding? I read this and the first thing I thought is I hope my ex is feeling the same way and now realizes that what he had was wonderful and he should not have messed it up over some dumb hottie. (Actually I call her that and she isn’t so hot just cheap and easy). Did William like cheap and easy before he found love?
I invite anyone else sitting at the table to chime in on their interpretation of Sonnet 91 in the comments below!
Learning,
Zazie
Dear Zazie,
Got your letter about the party. Loved it! Glad to hear you take such care in what you wear when you go out. One should always look their best. I would be wearin’ jeans or khakis, a starched long sleeve button down Polo shirt, a sport coat and maybe a tie; that depends on my mood. I am a formal kinda guy. Of course I would be wearin’ one of my dozen pair of Lucchese cowboy boots. Trust me on this one, when it comes to boots, Lucchese or nothin’.
There is one problem with your party; you missed someone. Call him, mature perhaps hot guy. We shall call him your Knight. Perhaps you overlooked him because he may be just a little older than guys you have been out with. He arrived at the party alone and has been workin’ the room, chattin’ with those he knows, introducin’ himself to those he does not know. He is very specific about the type of woman he is lookin’ for and is not impressed with any of hot young things at the party. He is about to leave when he sees her……
Just before you almost vomit on way-out-of-his-league breath boy, your Knight walks up, lightly touches your elbow and says, “Sorry I am late, Babe. How was your day?”
You ably overcome your initial shock and reply, “It was good. It got a little shaky there for awhile, but I managed to pull it together, with a little help.” Your Knight turns to breathe boy, smiles and says, “Would you please excuse us?.” He then takes your elbow and guides you away to the other side of the room and tells you that he was not tryin’ to be too forward, but it looked like you needed some help. You are thinkin’, wow this guy is big; over six feet tall, broad shoulders. You catch the grey touch in his hair near his temples and the grey in his neatly, close trimmed beard. You sense that there is somethin’ really different about this guy. And of course, you think he is dangerous, so your guard is still up. You thank him for rescuin’ you and admit that breath boy was a little creepy. Your Knight laughs and says well you gotta give the guy credit for even approachin’ such a beautiful woman who is clearly way out of his league. You take the compliment in stride and think again how different this guy is. His speech is formal but inflected with a western drawl. Names are exchanged and talk turns to where y’all are from and where y”all work and what y’all like to do. He likes what he is hearin’ and you like what you are hearin’. Then he tells you, “I bet I know what you are thinkin’; that all men are pigs and as dangerous as rattlesnakes. And the better lookin’ they are the more dangerous they are. Well, you would be mostly corect. But some of us are not. Listen, I have to go, but I think we should talk some more. Here is my card, if you agree call me.” You take his card, thinkin’ wow, he has not hit on me. Then you make a decision, “Sounds good. And I think I have had enough of this place.” He replies, “Cannot blame you for that. Mind if I walk you to your car?” You say yes. At the door he gets his cowboy hat, custom felt 6X beaver silver belly, and opens the door for you. Y’all chat on the way to your car and you unlock your car with the remote as y’all reach the drivers side door of your car. You say, “Well, it was nice meeting you.” He says, “The pleasure was all mine.” Then he moves in and you think here it comes, but he is movin’ in to open your door for you. You get in your car and goodbyes are exchanged and he tips his hat and walks away.
It could happen! Think about it!
R
