Jett,
I feel bitter sweet of your reply. I kinda feel bad as I did not know children were involved. In one way I think it is heroic for you to make a sacrifice for them and at the same time I feel sad for all that is involved.
I always feel weird when it comes to talking about parenting and children as I never had the chance to have that love. I feel maybe making a statement on how things should be done is out of line as I have not walked in those shoes. I only offer you my views in hopes that me not being so close to the situation can have its advantages.
I do have some real world experiences as i came from a broken home myself. What bugs me about life is that the clock never stops and before you know it life is passing you by. It saddens me to hear that you, your wife and the kids are not getting the chance to know true love. You are on hold hoping that your time will come. Your wife is clueless of your resentment for her affair and that you are in misery. She may be into herself but it may be a front for her lack of being connected to you. The kids – sweet little kids full of innocent love are not getting to see what a normal loving relationship feels like. How you and your wife respond to one another will become the standard for what is normal for couples. Kids are often smarter than we give them credit for and they may be picking up on the disconnect but one thing they are missing is to see two people in love.
My parents divorced when I was at an early age. I don’t regret it so much as I would hate to feel that they stayed together faking love to serve me. Is there a good age to make the break? No never. Yes! It will hurt. It will make them upset. It would be most important for you and your wife to be the adults and comfort them that even though you guys are making changes; your love for them will never change. I think if it is done mature and correctly in the end the children will benefit more from seeing you each happy. Also think how awful it would be to see your child grow up in an abusive situation because they also decided to stay in a bad situation because that was their role model?
In today’s world it is not uncommon to have divorced parents. I frown upon children that expect parents to stay together when their is no love. That would be very selfish, Sometimes they are just to young to understand but that is the best time to embrace them and teach them that disappointments in life can lead to unbounded love.
Your wife using the kids is a whole different issue… I want to circle back to that at a later date.
I hope that another person that is in or has been in this situation will leave a comment. If you have found this note and have an opinion of your own please add it in the comments.
Should a parent sacrifice love for their children?
Zazie
Rhett shares a movie Click here to read about it!
No Comments on "Making Time For Love"