To all my friends on shore,
I want to say I’m sorry. I’m sorry I let you down. I thought for sure the day we set sail I was going on a great adventure. I just knew I would make you proud. I had no idea there would be no communication on board. Who knew the Captain would keep such a tight ship? I felt sure there would be parties and a fun and entertaining crew. The crew seems to have seen a ship wreck or two. They are reserved and their appetite for adventure has jumped ship.
Once when we past the island we pulled into dock. I feared you coming aboard so I decided if you came aboard I could hide in a life raft. You would never see me there. I could see you from afar. Man I Love you guys. I love the way I feel when you make me smile. The way we laughed. The way you helped me up when I felt like the whole world was against me. I always knew you were there. Now, I sit in shame of the decisions I have made. I don’t want you to see me. I look weak, my clothes once beautiful are torn. My spirit is sleeping. I don’t want you to know I never found the gold I once dreamed of. If we could just set sail again before you mention my name.
Don’t worry about me. From my room I have a small porthole where I can still see the sunset and rise. I still believe in the adventure. I spend my time plugging holes in this ship. Sometimes it is an endless battle and when a storm hits I am sure that that will be the time we will sink to the very depths of the ocean. I often cannot believe the rainbows that follow and break the angry sky. The sun shines on my face and I start plugging holes again. What gives when your life is simply looking out and hoping? There are no anchors at sea. You strain your eyes for a tiny glimpse of an island or a brave new world. How much longer shall it be? Will I ever feel the sand on my toes again? Will this current storm pass?
Tell me my friend will I ever know Love again?
Zazie
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